“Figure out who you are separate from your family, and the man or woman you’re in a relationship with. Find who you are in this world and what you need to feel good alone. I think that’s the most important thing in life. Find a sense of self because with that, you can do anything else.”
- Angelina Jolie, Cosmopolitan Magazine
I know a handful of ladies that have insecurities. I myself have many, but I came to a conclusion to how I can over come them. I wanted to share this with everyone because I hope all the ladies out there want to be empowering, influential, and courageous women. By that I mean to not be fearful of what others perceive of you, and understanding how beautiful you really are without anyone telling you. Being able to stand up to the one’s who bring you down, and keeping your head held high.
I’m the type to wake up extra early just to do my make-up, hair, and nails. I thought about it after awhile.. the question “WHY?”.. why am I doing this. Don’t get me wrong I love to doll myself up and look pretty. But, who the heck was I doing this all for? Myself? My boyfriend? My peers?.. But, inside I felt ugly without my foundation, eyeliner, and lashes on. It was as if it were a dress code for myself or almost like a mask.. hiding who I really was behind the pound of makeup.. scared of what others thought of me. I didn’t feel pretty or beautiful without any make-up on, and defiantly didn’t feel as if I were worth anything when people didn’t compliment me.As of now, I do things for myself and not try to put an image of myself out there that i’m beautiful becasue I already know I am. As others may not be going through the same thing, one might have other insecurities. A Big one, where I hear girls complain that they are ‘fat’ all the time, pointing out all the areas on their bodies that they think are overweight. It hurts to hear that they think of themselves as ‘fat’ and the feeling of being.. not pretty, or good enough, or beautiful. Sometimes, people compare themselves to the media and celebrities.. which is ridiculous because Hollywood is full of bimbo’s that do crazy shit to loose weight, etc. It’s easy for someone else to tell you that your beautiful, but truly you have to believe it for yourself. Don’t let the fear of how others perceive you, hold you hostile to your future and your goals. It’s not how you should convince and prove to others that you are beautiful first. It is however, convincing and proving to one self, that you are beautiful and worthy. Same as how you have to learn to Love yourself first before others. A common thing that gets girls down is ‘shame’. Sometimes, there are situations that build that feeling of shame up, such as thinking that we did something wrong, or theirs something wrong with us. At times, it might be after a break up, or when you get rejected for a job and the list goes on. Once, one allows themselves to inherit that mind-set it becomes easier to build up a barrier. At no time should a woman feel like they’re ugly, worthless, and depressed about the way they look. So, here are some solutions in overcoming/avoiding the ‘shame barrier’, also in believing that you are beautiful, and really loving yourself. These are the very many first steps in becoming couragous, empowering, and influencial. I’m not an expert, and am still learning, but I hope this all helps.
1. Stop Criticism – It is a useless act; it never accomplishes anything positive. Don’t criticize yourself; lift that burden from yourself. Don’t criticize others either, as the faults we usually find in others are merely projections of the things we don’t like in ourselves. Thinking negatively about another person is one of the greatest causes of limitation in our own lives.
2. Don’t Scare Yourself – We all want to stop that. Too often we terrorize ourselves with our own thoughts. Setting back our mind-set to having negative thoughts upon ourselves. Learn to think in positive affirmations. In this way, our thinking will change our lives for the better. If you catch yourself scaring yourself again, immediately say, “I release the need to scare myself. I am a divine, beautiful, and a magnificent expression of life.
3. Be Committed to the Relationship – You Have With Yourself We get so committed to other relationships, but we tend to toss ourselves away. We get around to ourselves now and then. So, really care for who you are. Be committed to loving yourself. Take care of your heart and soul. :)
4. Treat Yourself as Though You Are Loved – Respect and cherish yourself. As you love yourself, you will be more open to love from others. The Law of Love requires that you focus your attention on what you do want, rather than what you don’t want. Focus on loving you.
5. Take Care of Your Body – Your body is a precious temple. If you are going to live a long, fulfilling life, then you want to take care of yourself now. You want to look good, and most of all, feel good and have lots of energy. Nutrition and exercise are important. You want to keep your body flexible and moving easily until your last day on the planet.
6. Have Integrity – Keep Your Word In order to honor and respect yourself, you must have integrity. Learn to keep your word. Do not make promises you will not keep even to yourself. Don’t promise yourself you will start the diet tomorrow or exercise every day unless you know you will follow through. You want to be able to trust yourself.
“Women have to harness their power - it’s absolutely true. It’s just learning not to take the first no. And if you can’t go straight ahead, you go around the corner.” - Cher